First-time dad with no role model—what advice do real dads have?

MugheesKruten

Hi guys, thanks for letting me in. I’m 30, and my partner and I are expecting our first child—a baby boy. I’ve read books, watched videos, tried to learn how to be a good dad, but I need first‑hand advice from other dads—tips, tricks, anything.

My own dad was largely absent (divorce). Any input helps. I’ve been with my partner for almost nine years; our relationship is calm and healthy. We’re thrilled and scared—both normal, we agree, haha. About six months to go.

Thanks!!

Zeropine

I'm scrolling through the parenting books, soaking up the tips and feeling that buzz of excitement. It’s kind of the first win, right? No one ever shows up totally ready when a kid pops into the picture, b ut we care. We’re all just winging it at first, and that’s okay we’ll figure out whatever comes our way as we go.

Communication really is the secret sauce. My wife’s already been through childbirth and she’s got the same worries I’m feeling, so I try to lift some of the load off her. I’ll throw together dinner, tidy up a bit, and just try to make it feel like a team effort. We learn together, we lean on each other, and we help each other out.

And hey, cut yourself some slack when things don’t go perfectly. Mistakes happen just take what they teach you and aim not to repeat the same slip‑up.

TerryTheTank

Work on reaction time. ’Cause when you open that diaper and the sprinkler kicks on whenever it wants yeah, as dads our reaction time just skyrockets, but our listening skills with the wife keep slipping every second of the day because we’re totally drained from work, everything else, and being bossed around like we don’t even exist anymore. lol. Patience is the key to survival 😂

FrostSparkle

Be the father you wish you had. Let that mindset guide you. It will work out in the long run. Put your wife and child above all else. I raised three kids and have the best marriage I can imagine because of this.

WhisperEchoes

Sounds like you’re doing all the right things.. keep it up! 👍 Go to the appointments. Ask the doc questions. Have fun with the pregnancy. It’s an exciting time and will be over before you know it.. then the real work begins. Just be a good partner to ur wife/partner and do whatever u can to make her life easier (cleaning, cooking, let her take naps etc). Just jump in and be the dad u wanna be. One thing I wasn’t aware of during the first 6 months or so after your son is born, a lot of the crying will be related to the baby having gas which creates discomfort. Bicycle kicks and burping help a lot. U guys will figure out how to comfort your baby in those early months as u get to know him and what he needs. You’ll be fine!

MugheesKruten

Thank you all so much, really appreciate all the insight here!

Fireballer22

I strive to be present.
My kid doesn’t need me to be perfect.
All they really need is my presence and my involvement in their lives.
Even when they complain about boundaries and rules like curfews, I feel the weight of needing to set them.
I work to set realistic expectations, rules, and boundaries.
I remind myself that I’m not trying to be their best friend; I’m their dad.

Blazeflux88

Tip: Always be there for him and love him. That’s the main thing you need to do to be a great dad.