How do I make my 15yo son see my sacrifices when he doesn’t communicate?

torchsparktif

Had a serious lag with my 15‑year‑old son—communication broke down. I pinged him: “What do you need for school?” He said his mom’s got it covered.,Turns out she’s low on supplies and threads—first of the month, bills hit hard. I rage‑quit. I could’ve stocked him, but now I’m buying shoes last‑minute. He lives in another city with his mom, and he doesn’t see the grind I put in. Wish he’d get the raid’s effort.

Zeropine

Hey buddy, honestly, getting mad isn’t worth it just adds stress. Just get him what he needs, no matter what he says; after all, you’re the dad.

VelcroViking

Maybe it’s not really a communication thing at all maybe it’s just an excuse to dodge putting effort into school. I feel the mix‑up is more about having a chat about what’s going on in his life, not so much about why he wasn’t straight‑up about having school supplies and clothes.

Zyriiixyndr3

Welcome to being a parent of a school aged child.

QwertyLepcis

No 15‑year‑old will grasp what you’re asking him to grasp. You live in another city, and he’s probably used to his mom handling everything. He likely had no clue she couldn’t keep it under control. Next time, chat with his mother and ask what’s needed.

NimbusNoodle

The understanding will come in time trust that. I’ve had a lot of issues with my oldest when he was a teen. By the time he hit 23, he told my two younger ones, “Listen to Dad you may not like what he says, but he knows what he’s taking about.”

Just keep being patient with him; he’ll figure it out.

BunqJamsCo0k3r

I often feel that the teen years are the worst. I’ve realized that my kid will play me and my ex against each other, feeding me different stories. I know that communicating with my ex is crucial during the next few years. Yet, as someone else once told me, I should just grab him and go shopping.

zapsweepdyn

You’re not helping him “communicate” when you’re getting mad, losing your cool so cut thta out. He won’t know what sacrifice really is until he’s much older and has to go through it himself. Forget that. Chances are he tried to take it off your plate, have Mom do it, but she didn’t, and now you have to save the day. Either show up, save the day quietly don’t b*** about it or let him suffer the consequence of not being more responsible. I can’t get you anything until X. If you need something, I need X days’ notice.

DarkSideLASSO

He is 15. That's the eye of the storm for teenagers. Don't worry too much, brother once he comes out of his teenage years, he'll see what you do. Life comes at you in phases, MAN, just keep doing good and eventually it will come full circle.

NebulaNomad9

Great advice everywhere. It's hard not to take it personally, but that's what you must do with a 15‑year‑old. Keep giving your best. Be open, be honest, and always tell him you love him unconditionally. Offer an open door for any conversation. Check in whenever you can. Act proactively, not reactively. Take care of yourself physically and mentally so you can be your best for him. Stay positive!

Mystic89r

My opinion, having been on both sides of the coin, is that getting upset is the very last thing you should do, as har as it is. I looked for the middle ground and began speaking calmly about how life could be easier for them if they organized these things and were prepared. I would always say that they could chat with me about whatever’s on their mind, so that if mum or just themselves weren’t doing what they should, I gave myself the best chance of being able to help. When I got upset, it was essentially cutting off any chance of being someone they could come to for help. Hope this helps, mate, and good luck 🤜🤛

silencesleeper

You are the parent that comes with sacrifices our kids will never understand