How Can a Heavy Sleeper Wake Up for Baby Duty?

Velvrxnought

Hey dads, need ur help! 👋

So I'm a dad to a 4-month-old, livin with her and my partner. We're good, I'm super into bein there for my kid, we've got a solid bond goin on.

But here's the thing—huge problem, tbh. I'm a HEAVY sleeper. Like, I can knock out for 12-14 hrs easy, no matter what. Baby wakes up around 6 a.m., and since she was born, my partner's been handlein it all. Now she's had enough, and honestly, I don't blame her. She's on maternity leave, but she's like, Yo, step up some mornins so I can sleep in or just chill.

But here's the kicker—I. Don't. Wake. Up. Tried EVERYTHING: 15 alarms, vibrating clock under my pillow, sleepin on the floor, sittin up, 3hrs or 13hrs... nothin works. I'm dead serious, I really wanna get up, but nope.

This has been my life forever, and I thought dad life would fix it, but nah, it's worse. How is this even possible? My partner's tried standin on me, ticklin me, yellin at the top of her lungs—nothin. Sometimes I wake up and have full convos with her for mins, hten wake up hrs later with no memory. Wild.

This can't keep goin. I'm hella ashamed, even tho I can't do anything about it, right?

Mental health's fine, so I'm not just exhausted or anythin. Anyone else dealin with this? How u handle it? What's the move?

Hit me with any tips, thanks! 🙏

MeoW

The only tip I can give you that works for me is to have this mindset:
if the baby wakes up, it’s on me to get up. There’s no one else who’s going to do it for me.
It’s kinda like when you were a kid and would wake up super early on Christmas Eve because you knew it was Christmas the next day.
No idea if you even understand what I mean, but if you do, give it a try.

Sorry if the grammar’s bad, writing this at 2 AM after the oldest one woke up 😅

VelcroViking

That sounds completely insane. As a parent, you're usually a light sleeper. If I were you, I'd contact a doctor because this really doesn't sound normal.

StarLord20K

Not crazy at all. Part of it is biology and evolution women tend to wake up more easily to baby sounds. Another part is if you don’t have the responsibility meaning someone else is waking up then you won’t do it. So the other part is trust in your partner.

AshyBeasto69

Try having your partner sleep alone with the baby (if the baby is in a crib or bassinet). Having your partner there makes it easier to relax more subconsciously. I went from sleeping through everything to hearing much more and waking up earlier because I took on the responsibility.

Rumblin

Sleep alone with the baby. When I sleep alone with the baby, I don't sleep as soundly and am a bit more alert all the time.

Chilli

Try Chinese acupuncture or visit a kinesiologist.

MidnightVagabondX

I’m in a similar situation to you, and honestly, it’s been this way my whole adult life and even as a teenager. I’m 31 now and still sleep incredibly deeply.

Still, I do wake up after my wife nudges me a few times.

In the past, I could sleep 12 14 hours, but since my second kid came along, the latest I’ve slept is till 9 AM (about 9 10 hours on a sleep in morning). I guess you do adapt to some extent, but we’re all different.

We tried having me sleep alone with the baby in the crib at first. I thought maybe my subconscious would kick in, but my wife came home at 3 AM one night, and our son was screaming in his crib probably had been for a while and I was still fast asleep.

But as it stands now, and for about the last two years, I do wake up when the kids cry or have nightmares, etc., so I guess I’ve grown into it or something.🤔

Just wanted to share so you know you’re not alone in this. My wife has taken all the nights since the kids were born (they’ll be 5 and 2 by summer), and I’ve always felt anxious about her having to do it all.

DiscoNuclearChaser

I don’t have the same issue as you quite the opposite, actually which eventually forced me to seek help from the healthcare system. It took me a year to get the help I needed, but it finally happened, so I can only advise you to stay on top of it with your healthcare provider and keep talking to your doctor.

Sleep issues of any kind can be devastating for a functional daily life, especially when you have young children involved.

I wish you the best of luck!

Jedixuino

Try avoiding food for the last four hours before bed. Drink plenty of water when you're going to bed. It helped me. 🙂

Pixiluxe28

What wakes me up is that I sleep alone with my son. If my partner is in the same room or in the adjacent room where I know she’ll hear him, I don’t wake up. But if she’s in the room on the other side of the house, I always wake up with my son. Your issue with waking up seems to be on a whole other level. But as I said, I’m not sure if you’ve tried sleeping alone with your baby.

Darkcipher

I have the same problem myself. I've been in touch with healthcare at a sleep lab, done tests, and so on. The response has been, "Be glad you're able to sleep.

Chilli

I had this problem before getting kids... I had to minimize my sleep to 7-8 hours strictly. Go to bed at the same time every night and up the same time, no matter how hard it was. It took time, but eventually I was more energized during the day and slept better at night. I got quality sleep in short.