Should I stay after my wife’s infidelity and threats?

madlab5qwerty

Need advice. I’m contemplating divorce.

In March I caught my wife cheating with someone I considered a friend.
I almost left, but gave her another chance.
I later saw her talking to him two more times and gave her another chance again.
I checked her phone and found a message to a friend: once she’s on her feet she’ll get rid of me and make sure I get nothing in the separation.
She says she was lying to the friend and wants to make our relationship work.

We have a son who turns one this upcoming Sunday.

I’m trying to keep the peace, but I come across as standoffish and quiet.
She is trying to mend things, and I’m unsure if I can or want to.
We have tried couples counseling; she always finds an excuse not to go.

I’m at my end here. Do I give her another chance or wait until after my son’s birthday?to leave? I’m afraid to make the wrong decision.

Apologies for the long post.

HawkPaster57

You’re getting divorced.
Make sure it’s on your terms

KevTheRev

Run, don’t even walk run away, secure custody as quickly as you can, and bring your son with you.

riccoljyvee22

Looks like you’re headed for a divorce, no matter what. Get a solid lawyer and start the process now she’s already planning her side. I can’t trust her, mate. It’s a crappy situation, but I know it’s rough and I wish you all the best. You’ve got this. 🙏

MetallicMuttMaster

A woman's mind kinda checks out of the relationship years before her body does. If she’s had an affair, it’s already over and she’s just using you. Talk to a lawyer and figure out your next steps. She’s probably already planning it. You’ve been warned, which is more than most guys get.

Silverbolt90

You’re already halfway out the door.
Cut ties with her, except for the kid.
Cut ties with that so‑called friend.
You’ve given multiple chances and been screwed on all.
Leave.
Get a lawyer fast.

EveliMox

I personally would let it play out a little longer… to give myself time to set up the things necessary to give myself the best advantage when it comes time for divorce then, once I had it all in order, file for divorce as quickly as possible.

AshyBeasto69

Lawyer up man. Get all those texts if you can.

PodMjjPen

Lawyer up and leave. I'm sorry it's come to that man 💚🙏🏽

CrimsonCanyon

Use this time to plan your exit. It’s sad that you have seen the evidence, yet she thinks you will believe her. Let all that go. Get copies of the texts and any other documents. Set aside some cash and don’t let her know if you find anything else. Keep everything you do quiet. When you are ready, file the papers and fight for custody of your son. Make sure you hire a very good lawyer.

BogdanBump42

Plan your exit. If she makes any negative comments, such as “going to take him for all he's worth,” please screenshot them, email them to an address she cannot access, and keep them saved. Build your case. Advocate for your son while you can, before the court removes him from you simply because you’re a man.

infinaemouton

Seriously, start talking to the lawyers now... consult with everyone you can and bring the proof to the table. Get out ASAP bc you can afford it.

troyninja42

It seems that it takes two people to make it work, and her making excuses to avoid counseling could be seen as not trying. You might be being strungalong, and she appears to have made her decision, possibly lying to you not her friend, imho.

turn10degreEfe

If she won’t go to counseling, that’s your answer right there. My partner wouldn’t agree until I’d already moved on, and only then did she say she’d give it a try. But you caught her, and she’s still going down that path, so I’d just get my stuff together and send it her way. It’s been a little over a?year and a half since my marriage became official and it still hurts like hell, but I know I made the right call by leaving. At some point we’ve got to look out for ourselves. As much as I wanted things to work, there was zero chance I could have stuck around until my “natural expiration date” showed up.

CosmicRouge81X

Right, there’s no wrong decision. The only wrong move was thinking shhe might change she’s clearly moved on. I hate to say it, but you’d be better off getting a lawyer.

Save every piece of evidence you have so you don’t lose anything. If she finds out you’re filing for divorce and you have no proof she cheated, was still talking to someone afterward, or threatens to take you to the cleaners once she’s on her feet, things could get messy.

Prayers it works out for you, brother.

MosesJayXJ80

I would take any money, hire a lawyer, and leave with my child. No good man deserves what is being done to you. Let her boyfriend take care of her.

eztenthwheel

Brother take your ball and go. If her hand was caught on the stove more than once don't stick around. Protect yourself from the jump if you can. If she's already talking about playing dirty then do it before she does. Ro, visitation, she burned the bridge do right by you can the little one in the long haul. Remember longevity is key

SavoyTwildz3

Geezus! You know the answer.
Protect yourself.
She made her bed.
Move on now.
It hurts, but trust your gut it's saying, “get out now.”
You don’t need 300 of us to tell you it’s over.

drpatonchris

“Red flags might just look like flags when you’re wearing rose‑coloured glasses”

I would perhaps start planning an exit promptly, as this may not end well. It seems prudent to get ahead of it.

Blazeflux88

She’s shown you how much she really cares. Talk is cheap; actions tell the truth. Let her actions guide your decisions.