Why does my wife have a lower sex drive than me?

venomzoo7

I need help. My wife doesn’t want to have sex as much as I do. I feel like I have to beg her for it. Any other guys dealing with this?

MuddySarel

Wow. TBH, I'm in the same boat. It's been years with the wife. 😂

TerryTheTank

If you take care of her, she will take care of you !

StealthDropCasanova

I used to have this problem. I realized she was a narcissist, so there was nothing I could do to fix it.

I got divorced and put a lot of work into myself. Now I date women who would never act like that.

If your wife is a narcissist, just know you can’t fix it. They pull back intimacy as a wya to manipulate you. In my case, my ex never said no until we were married then everything changed. Thankfully, most women aren’t like that.

bluedotswords

Make sure he feels truly wanted and loved not just thinking about the “sexy‑time” part. Set the scene for a cozy night ahead by prepping everything in the morning, and help lift her confidence with gentle encouragement. You could even surprise her with a few spicy romance books she’s into and read the passages she loves just copy‑paste the bits that make her smile! Remember, there’s a lot that goes into this, so keep your communication clear, honest, and full of warmth.

Stormsurviv

The fact of the matter is that two people are seldom on the exact same page on any matter especially sex.

You might be reading two entirely different books. If you can somehow agree on a book, that’s a plus. Sharing the same chapter (of life) is remarkable.

While that’s true, misalignment isn’t pleasant, but it can be bearable, and there’s hope for future alignment.

Lumineir

Getting a divorce after 22 years no sex no marriage!!!!

darkrukim

Talk to your wife about it. Make time that’s just for you and her. Get a babysitter, take her out for a meal, and sit down to discuss what’s happening and how she feels. Then gently tell her you feel unsatisfied.

techwave22

I have a BETTER IDEA. Just close that chapter in your life. Forget about it, and it makes things so much less complicated. I'm going on 4+ years and I learned to just not have those feelings or urges it's GREAT.

apynick42

Hi, II might be able to help. I'm the partner who rarely initiates (working on it).
I'm a recovering narcissist, and I think there’s likely no communication from her.
I don’t know the full story, but it could be that she doesn’t appreciate you, is seeking others, or simply doesn’t care.
Talk to her if you’re unsure how, ask ChatGPT.
If it doesn’t feel right, consider other options.
Most likely something hidden beneath her surface influences her behavior. Talk to her.

KhaosRebels

Find a badass couples counselor who zeroes in on the goal and skips the BS.

Our therapist loves to “work herself out of a job.”

I have my own therapist, plus a third who specializes in m sexual health and the past trauma that shapes that side of my psyche.

You BOTH must uncover what’s happening, and only a professional can truly guide each of you and both of you together.

Don’t give up or fight. Setbacks happen, but they don’t define the marriage. My ex never was willing to try therapy because of her ego.

MidnightSky7

Been married 21 years and still 4 5 times/week

IndigoLdnCr3t1n

Welcome to marriage in America 🇺🇸
Only gets worse

CosmicRouge81X

I wish I could give advice. I’m 56, on my second marriage 15 years in. I get it anywhere from once to four times a week.

Rumblin

Maybe she's a narc like my hopefully stbx

QwertyLepcis

Yep. It’s frustrating, and there’s not much I can do right now. I’m almost ready to quit asking every time I do, I get shot down or accused of wanting only one thing.

StarGuard99

A dead bedroom is the first step to divorce

brownhawk

Married 12 years. We have sex 2–3 times a week, sometimes more,?sometimes less. Know when to initiate. We rotate work shifts, so we never use sitters. I handle the chores laundry, dishes, toys quickly. If she comes home with a headache, she isn’t in the mood. I understand that. Don’t wait until she’s falling asleep. She might be willing, but the encounter will suffer. When I work, I come home, thank her for cooking, say everything looks good, shower, then engage with the family. These steps work for me. They may not work for you, depending on your situation.

ScholarBeard

There are many of us on this same boat

hrm12mkm12

Take this as an opportunity to find intimacy in other ways in your relationship for a while.

Sex is only a small part of a romantic relationship.

You may find that after you’ve nurtured closeness in other ways, sexual intimacy will follow.

It’s kind of like when single people stop actively looking and suddenly find their person.

Sex isn’t everything, guys.

I’m dumbfounded by the amount of people here talking about leaving their wives or cheating simply because there isn’t enough sex.

If you’re with someone you love and see sa an equal partner, you don’t need sex all the time to feel happy and confident in your relationship.