How can I grieve my miscarriage while respecting my wife's privacy?

SquirrelPopt

My wife just had a miscarriage and we’re both devastated. She’s told her family annd close friends, but she asked me not to share it with anyone on my side. I get that it’s her body, but I still want to talk about the baby I was so excited to meet. I want to be there for her, because she’s gone through something really traumatic. Thanks for letting me post this—I just needed to get it off my chest! 💔💔

paintgameon

I’m really sorry, friend. That’s truly tough. Losing your baby is heartbreaking. Make sure you reach out for the help and support you need, too.

VelcroViking

It's kinda different when her fam does the makeover instead of yours. At least you told us and got it out. Sorry for your loss. Keep your head up and heal together.

WrenchNico

1) Hey man, I’m really sorry. My thoughts are with you.
2) That’s pretty weird. Maybe she told people she “knows” and doesn’t want “strangers” (like in‑laws) poking into her business or trying to “help her through it.”
3) You should stand up for yourself, at least a bit. Take care of yourself if that means atlking to someone, go for it. You’re grieving too, and she needs to get that, accept it, and let you grieve however you need. If she can’t do that, that’s a whole other conversation.

TomatoNinja64

Hey bud, tbh it’s rough 😞 but you’ll get through it. My son’s 6 now and we’ve been trying for 6 years with zero luck. We’ve sadly lost 8, even had potential twins twice. After a few months they were tearing my wife apart and she almost died not once but twice. It’s heartbreaking. She still wanted to try and had faith we’d have another. Now, 6 years later, after 8 fails, we’re in the hospital and in about an hour we’ll have our second boy. Keep going, don’t give up. My fam only knew about half of hem ‘cause of drama. It sucks, but life’s what you make it. Keep moving, it’ll happen. 🌟

FriendlyKenawa

I know it feels like it’s her body, but really it’s just a vessel for the baby you both created together. It’s hard, but she doesn’t have the right to stop you from sharing this with your family. I feel your pain too, and I want you to know how important it is to have people around who understand what you’ve been through and can support you.

I’m truly sorry this happened, man. I can’t even begin to imagine how devastating it is.

steelcharmrat12

I’m realizing that it really hinges on how your wife relates to your side of the family. We went through a similar situation, and I only told my parents, but my wife loves them, so it could be different for you.

IronWalShot12

The baby is just as yours as hers, buddy! You both are going through the trauma.

Lirixian

Not up to her.

If you both perhaps wanted to keep it wrapped up, fine; yet, if she’s breaking that seal, maybe she doesn’t get to tell you not to.

sunnysgtpepsi85

Hey, you both have lost your baby this isn’t about her body at all, it’s about your little one. You’ve got to reach out to someone you trust, talk to family. I’m so sorry you’re going through this!

SweeKaiserCookie

Talk to whoever you need to.

I think part of it is (my wife felt this way) because it’s her body she might feel ashamed, like it’s her fault, and not want anyone making her feel that way. And you know as well as I do that nobody would make her feel that way.

We all know it isn’t, and these things happen. My wife and I also had a miscarriage. Just support her. If you need to talk to someone on your side of the family, do it. Just ask them to respectfully keep it between you two and not bring it up around your wife.

It’s not being sneaky or shady. You need an outlet, too.

Just be there for your wife and support her. As much as you’re grieving, she’s grieving even more. There are a lot more feelings and emotions going on in her head.

Bottom line: It’s ok to talk to a family member you trust to keep it between you two. But ultimately, support your wife. You both need each other to get through this together at the end of the day.