Why do I feel physically sick after emotional betrayal?

xojayzerker

Well, it’s just been one horrible story after another…

So I was married for nine years. My ex‑wife had a year‑long affair with another cop from my department. We ended up divorcing, and she married him.

Then I met a woman who reached out because we were both going through the same thing. We started dating, and I thought things were going well. Then, all of a sudden, she just checked out. She told me she can’t give our relationship the attention it needs because of the emotional stress she’s dealing with.

I feel sick all the time, get hot flashes, feel like I’m going,to pass out, and all I want to do is sleep.

Zeropine

You know, healing and learning to love yourself is something we all have to work on. When you put in the effort, the healthier version of you will naturally attract the right, healthy person to spend your life with. If you skip that, you’ll just keep looping the same patterns you’ve seen so far hurt people hurt people, and healthy people don’t hurt people.

TerryTheTank

Officers get decommissioned for doing that in my state. Conduct unbecoming it's unethical. How are they supposed to enforce laws when they can't even respect marriages, let alone a fellow cop's wife? If you work for an agency that condones that, I'd bounce immediately.

swiftyprodigy

Be careful; you didn’t post anonymously. I identified your department and state in about two minutes. I’m a former law‑enforcement officer and I’d hate to see your career jeopardized over a request for help. A change could improve your mental health and overall well‑being. Stay safe.

golfthymian7

I know it’s tough, but I’m so proud you’re still standing and haven’t given up. It takes a lot of courage to push through a situation like that please keep putting your mental health first. You seem like a wonderful dad, sir.

CarlVaultTriux

Avoid relationships for now; prioritize caring for yourself, your kids, and your mental health.

yaplover9

Bro,

I’m really sorry that happened to you, especially with a fellow officer. My best advice? Pause everything and grab “How to Be a 3% Man” on Audible right now. Listen to it ASAP it’ll totally change how you see relationships and dating.

You’ve got great potential if you do things right, even if it’s with someone else.

Go download the book. Like, now!

Good luck!

KujasTadd

Get out, man hit the gym. Find a new hobby or rediscover an old one. Go fishing, hunting, archery, rock climbing, martial arts anything social. Get out of your head.

cajogosworth

Slow down and breathe. It'll be okay. Youu'll get through this. When my ex‑fiancé of seven years left me for my (now ex) best friend, I would actually vomit seeing them together. Your wounds will hurt, bleed, and be sore, but they will heal. Let them heal. Just breathe; it will pass, I promise. Don't start a new relationship right away let your wounds heal first. We’re here for you; you’re not alone, and it will be okay, I promise. You were fine before them, and you’ll be fine after. Feel free to DM me to talk, vent, or even video‑call and have a beer after work.

StrugglingDevon

I felt that way before about eight years ago, actually. I started focusing on living for myself and the rest just fell into place.

A year later I met my current girlfriend. I was just enjoying life. Shit sucks. There's a silver lining to everything.

I know a guy who poured his story into music.

I see a counselor, I try to enjoy what I can control. I can control me. Just like you can. It's hard and it takes time.

You can do this!

TrinityWes

Hey there, that sounds really tough, buddy. I’d say the biggest focus should be on taking care of your health. I know being a cop can bring some rough days, and sometimes we guys see a dip in testosteerone because of lack of sleep, stress, not eating right, age, and all that. It might be a good idea to get some blood work done with your primary‑care doctor to make sure you’re physically healthy, then swing by a men’s clinic to check your testosterone levels and see if that could help. I went through a rough patch a few years ago, discovered my testosterone had dropped and my estrogen was up, and now I’m feeling so much better both mentally and physically.

EchoVortex89

Focus on your 4 beautiful daughters They need you

FrozenGator

Sorry, it sounds like a tough hand. Take a break go on vacation. You need some rest and recovery.

bluewiredisco

Head straight to Colombia my friend.