Will I get screwed on child support and alimony if my wife didn't work?

AceStepWolf

Ok so, a little back story… My wife and I are up and down. I’m not feeling like this is going to work out, and she feels the same. She’s already told me to take the kids, and what pisses me off is that she says she wants only to take one of the three.

Now if we get a divorce, I feel like I’m going to be screwed in child support and alimony… is that always the case?

I’ve pushed for years for her to go to college or get a good‑paying job but she never did… her excuse was it’s too hard or I don’t want a career job….

I just feel like my life is hard now, dealing with her negativity. I can’t even imagine if we split it would be any better, and on top of that I’m trying to make ends meet while also paying her because she didn’t want to make life easier for herself by getting a frickin job…

Zeropine

Maybe she’s hoping to take the one that isn’t yours. It might be worth getting a DNA test on the child she wants to keep, just to be sure.

KevTheRev

I could never, even in a million years, imagine my wife choosing one child over the others. Something feels off.

IndigoLdnCr3t1n

If my ex told me to take the kids, I’d comply. The courts would then see I can care for them, nullifying any false claims she might make later. I’d have a better chance of getting the other child back than most here have. Just follow that route and plan your next moves, mate. Don’t screw it up. You already have a head start. Trust me.

StrugglingDevon

Get a lawyer, push for primary! 👌💯

CardboardJackal

Please be careful if she says you took the kids, she could claim you did so without her consent. The system often works against fathers, so you must make sure your plan is absolutely airtight.

torchsparktif

Lawyer and docs, man make sure you log everything. Record what she says. Grab it in texts; they’ll definitely cover your butt.

WhisperEchoes

Thanks for sharing! 😊

That’s a tough spot, I get your frustration bro. 😓

Just remember, the only person we can change is ourselves. Your wife gotta decide to change on her own. 🤷‍♂️

What I’ve learned these past few yrs is that many probs can be fixed by upping communication & handling stuff so she doesn’t feel blamed or shamed. 👍

I’d suggest checking out ARC System – Create An Unbreakable Marriage (Dads Only). They’ve got,tons of free stuff to help you communicate better and reconnect with your wife. 🌟

Wishing u all the best! 👊🏻❤

SparkzByte

Look at my most recent post. I felt trapped in an unbeatable situation, so I reached out to a lawyer, and now I’m finally doing great. Honestly, please find a lawyer and heed the advice shared in this group. That’s what has helped me make such a huge leap forward.

KingCrankCow

When my parents divorced, my mom tried to take my oldest 2 brothers and nope that didn’t happen. How did that shape your family dynamics?

PandaSpenser

If you have any texts or emails showwing she is seeking a job to help with family finances, the court will take that into account in any settlement, maintenance, or child support. She should not receive alimony (maintenance) if she does not have cognitive or physical disabilities that would prevent her from earning a living wage. The court will consider that as well.

Regarding the children, you could be at a disadvantage. If I were in your position, I would argue that she is not able to care for the children for the same reasons she cannot obtain and keep a job. She is either a capable adult who can work and care for the children, or she is not. Ask your attorney to argue that you will assume full custody and request no child support while she secures gainful employment and demonstrates to the court and the father that she is a capable adult. Changing custody after it is set is very difficult, though it does happen; it is more challenging once the order is in place.