Is it wrong to worry my wife is relapsing with her addict friend?

RoadfireSSW

My wife spends a large amount of time with one of her friends lately. The friend is female, much older than my wife, and the time my wife is away feels absurd. Tonight she left at 10 p.m. and didn’t return until almost 6 a.m. This isn’t the first occurrence; there have been times when she stayed over there until 7 or 8 a.m. The frequency has increased over the past two months. Her friend never comes here and never helps my wife when asked, but my wife goes over whenever that lady asks her to. Am I wrong for feeling upset that she spends that much time over there? My wife has two kids who have also noticed and complained about it. For context, my wife is an ex‑addict (meth); she has been sober for almost a year, and this lady still uses and, from what I’ve been told, is a “connect” (whatever that means). I’m worried my wife could get caught up in it again.

royalblade360

That's not wrong at all. Just flip the roles with the same info and ask yourself if she'd be justified in being worried. You've got every reason to be suspicious.

Chilli

A connect means she's either a dealer herself or a middleman for a reputable dealer.

KujasTadd

Express your concerns to her and suggest a drug test

NexiaCoreX

Sounds like she’s using again unfortunately

CliffordCrowMaster

Those are all the red flags listed. Establish boundaries or depart. Request a drug test. If it escalates into an argument, that is all the information you need.

GalacticGopher

The situation is already weird, and you add the drug background.

I hate to say it, but I think you’re losing your girlfriend to meth.

DVTPlatinum

That’s methed up man. Sorry you’re dealing with that.

ChadCabbageSmece

She’s using. No doubt. 🤷‍♂️ I say that as a recovering addict. I’d never chill with folks who do heroin or crack – it’d just pull me back in. If your wife/gf has a sponsor, hit up the sponsor. You should’ve kept quiet ’cause you’ll need proof she’s using, even if she’s out a long time. Grinding her teeth at home? 👀 That’s a clue, not solid proof.!At the very least, stop leaving the kids alone with her. I don’t care if you have to beg a family member to bug her while you’re at work – do it. Anything’s better than the kids alone with someone who might be on meth. Another move: give her an ultimatum. Force her to pick you or her friend. If she picks the friend, get divorce papers ready and file for temporary emergency custody.

bluezaeran9

Just show her the group comments because 9/10 of us have already been through this

DeanBrute21

I’m definitely going to use it again… I’m truly sorry, my dear friend. The sooner the help arrives, the brighter my hope feels. I sincerely hope she embraces it.

PeakGoku

Based on your posts, this relationship is unhealthy. She called you just a babysitter and is using you again. At minimum, get out now. Don’t walk run to a trustworthy family lawyer.

SnekPlissken94

In my own experience with friends and family, it sounds like she’s using again.

She has a spot to go and hide out while high and comes home when sobering up.

Ask for a drug test; it shouldn’t be much of an issue.

Express your concerns as well as her kids concerns.

Khaoskryst

Not sure why some of y’all are laughing. This is why guys never reach out or ask for help.

Anyway, this sounds a lot like my situation five years ago, minus the drug stuff. A female friend I’m hanging out with all the time. I’m alone with the kids all the time. She wouldn’t come home most days.

We’d argue about it and she’d just say she’s a grown woman, blah, blah, blah. I sayed silent, did my homework, found out she was with another guy. I filed that same week.

Sorry, dude. Not saying this is what’s going on, but this story usually doesn’t end well.

jackringipetey

One might reflect on why, under any circumstance, it would be permissible to let your wife spend time with a meth addict. It seems, without exception, that this should never happen for the sake of your wife, your children, and everyone living under your roof. PERIOD

madlab5qwerty

I hate to tell you, but it sounds like she’s using you again. Confront her about it and watch how she acts. If the behavior doesn’t change, you may have to cut it off it’s not worth putting the kids through that.

SecretJams76

I’m sorry, brother. But she belongs to the streets. I have three, and my BM leaves at 10:15 sharp, sometimes not returning for days. It cost me work and ultimately my job. Our daughter was nine months old. Psycho Hosebeast isn’t around anymore, luckily. He hasn’t paid a dime of child support in the two‑and‑a‑half years he was ordered to pay. At least we don’t have to deal with that or any abuse fromm her.