How can I be a better dad when I feel completely lost?

QuesWolPop · 2026-03-26T02:45:05+00:00

I wish I hadn't become a dad because I feel like I have no clue about parenting. I don’t have anyone to show me how to calm my daughter down. To make things worse, my wife’s angry that I don’t know how to interact with our little girl. I try, but I just feel so inadequate.

SeeBeeBluwalrus

Nobody knows till they have their first.

fletchburnyui

Simply hold her, and wait until you both feel at ease. It might take some time, but that’s an essential part of building a connection.

GerbilMango

I'm a dad of two girls. It was awkward at first; I didn’t know their boundaries or what they liked. You'll figure it out. Use trial and error until you find a method that works for you and your child.

BacchusOnion

You have the capacity to succeed; consider reading and listening to a variety of how‑to‑parent books and resources. I understand your situation; my partner also reacts negatively when I deviate from the method she prefers. While it is disappointing, it is a challenging circumstance. Nevertheless, fathers contribute significantly to a child's experience of play, and when your child reaches toddler age, you can anticipate enjoyable moments such as dancing, gentle lifts, spinning, chasing, and shared laughter, according to her interests. A notable benefit of fatherhood is the opportunity to reengage with play. I recommend that you continue to read and,learn, as demonstrating effort and improvement may positively influence your relationship with your wife.

RyzenBrow

I have two girls your welcome to follow me and see how I do it... I don't allow many to follow my page, but you can come over for a bit if you want.

Attitude of gratitude is half the game man.

MachoNimara

I know being a good parent can be really hard. We all want to be the best parent we can be, and that makes it feel so challenging. The fact that you’re here, sharing your fears, shows how much you care and that you’re doing your best. Keep your head up, friend it’s a steep learning curve, but it’s incredibly rewarding.

erikbimmeraddict

We never know, bro! My daughter is 21 and I still don’t. All we can do is try our best to connect on some level and show our daughters how they’re supposed to be treated by men. Remember… dad is a daughter’s first love, the one she looks to for guidance, safety, compassion, wisdom and, let’s be honest, sometimes a swift kick in the ass.

JonahBatista

I felt the same way for the first few months, mate! Could not bond with him as he had bad colic. It fucked me up quite substantially and I thought something was wrong with me. Chin up! The interactions come, mate. Ya only a human. Fed clothed and watered. It will come!

FluffySummoner

Hey bro, I was thinking the same thing when I became a dad. Nothing really prepares you to be a parent except actually becoming one. Give yourself some grace and just love that kid. No matter how old she is, just love her. And it’s not always your job to calm her down sometimes you just create a space where she feels safe when she’s upset. Be present, be willing to learn, and just keep loving.

brockarrowtrick99

There’s no manual just dive in and do the best you can! You’ll slip up sometimes, hit awesome milestones, and that’s all part of the adventure. Enjoy the ride!

My mom was numb. Her own mother ha d a huge deficit of common sense and was way too gullible. My dad was a solid guy who lost his father at only 17.

Both of them busted their backs raising my brother and me with zero solid role models to lean on.

I’m all for those parenting classes. Talk it out with us, bring in your friends and family, and you’ll crush it.

Just try to stay chill. Don’t let the stress unravel you.

I can tell you we faced serious stress when our daughter was adopted and we had to drive her home in a snowstorm right after she was born.

We called poison control when she swallowed silica gel, and again when she gulped a vial of mylacon gas drops. Then, at 16, her boyfriend (the one we never trusted) cheated on her… and… and… now she’s finally got her driver’s permit!

VantosKrux

Look, we all mess up sometimes. What really matters is keeping a calm, steady vibe. Kids need clear boundaries to feel safe, right? They'll k eep testing those limits in every way they can crying, screaming, lying, even trying to manipulate you to see how strong you are. But if you hold firm and don’t cave, they’ll end up loving and respecting you for it.

You didn’t mention how old your daughter is. If she’s a baby, she can’t tell you what she needs, so you’ve got to really dig into what’s going on. If she’s a toddler, she’s just learning how to manipulate to get what she wants. And if she’s a teen good luck with that. My kids are boys, so I’m not really the best source for advice there.

LeweyKrunk

Don’t be hard on yourself; some handle it easily, others struggle. Just try. It isn’t perfect, but you have two teachers: your wife and your daughter. Watch how your wife does it, and experiment to see how your daughter reacts she may not talk yet, but she’s still communicating.

SwootyWolves

It's instinctual. It can be scary, but you'll figure it out as you go. Then you'll beg time to stand still.

MythoKrimson

Dude, you learn as you go. Just don’t give up. If kids were easy, everyone would be a good parent. What strategies have you found helpful?

DragonBolognMetal

Thanks for sharing. I'm still learning too, brother; it feels like each day might,be a new adventure.

That seems like a difficult situation, and I can sense your frustration, brother.

I wonder if it's helpful to remember that the only person we can truly change is ourselves, and perhaps your wife will need to decide for herself to change.

From what I've learned over the past few years, it appears that many issues might be addressed by improving communication and exploring ways to discuss concerns so that your wife doesn’t feel blamed or shamed.

You might consider checking out ARC System – Create An Unbreakable Marriage (Dads Only); they seem to have a lot of free resources that could help you communicate more effectively with your wife.

Wishing you all the best 👊🏻❤

DungeonSailorPG

Keep trying, never give up. We keep learning and growing. You’ve got this, Dad.

SorrowNinja

Hey, I’m sorry to say it, but you’re in it. It’s time to step up, give it a go, mess up, step up again, try again, stumble again but just keep at it and you’ll start seeing wins. (Btw, I’m saying this to myself as much as to you right now.)

Sometimes parenting feels like a breeze, other times it feels impossible. The best thing you can do for your daaughter right now is just be there with her. There’s no one‑size‑fits‑all fix for calming her, just a bunch of things you can try.

There are tons of online resources that can help you figure out each stage of development. Reaearch and employ.

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