Why does my 5-year-old hide to poop in his underwear?

CapBen2

My son will turn 5 on the 28th. He tells us whenever he needs to pee, but he never tells us when he needs to poop. He knows how to use the toilet. Instead, he hides under his bed or in his closet and poops in his underwear. I caught him in his closet doing this today. Any advice on how to fix or handle this? We do take him to the toilet, but when we try to get him to poop there, he throws a fit, screams, and cries as if he is in pain or dying.

xnavviloco

He has clearly associated pooping with something bad

KevTheRev

A reward treat. When he poops and shows you, I offer him a cookie or an ice‑block of his own choice, and once a week or every fortnight I give a big reward a LEGO set or a new toy then I slowly fade it out.

johnwood24

My son's motivation was the toy store (Five Below) at the end of the week. I potty‑trained him in three weeks using a chart and small rewards. You’ve got this!

wanderreddit

This is common. Talk to your pediatrician; they have helpful ideas.

ImperialBost77

Yo, like a lot of folks say, hand out a reward for actually dumping in the throne but only when it’s in the toilet. Kids find it weird and uncomfortable, so they struggle.

StarlitOdyssey

I have a 5‑year‑old son who was like this as well, and I wonder how we got him to manage it: we told him to take a piece of toilet paper and place it in the bowl so that when he poops there’s no splash or sound. I try not to be mad at him, because that only seems t o make him go backwards with everything. It sounds a bit odd, but I let him watch when I go to the bathroom so he can see that everything is okay. 👍

sharkdarkpotato

I feel ya… had my kid run around naked lol and never pooped on the floor. Hope this helps! 🙏

FitDustin

Give him a piece of candy for every poop in the toilet, a Happy Meal for every time he wipes! My son turned 5 on 05/25 he’s been wiping his own butt since he was 3, and now he doesn’t even expect a reward.

homeslicenoise

When my three‑year‑old was doing that, we handed out a reward every time he shat and, lo and behold, it actually worked!

DutchKettle

I’m literally dealing with this exact issue with my daughter. She goes to the bathroom for #1s all day without any problem. When it’s time for #2, I sit there with her for about 20 minutes before bedtime, and she ends up throwing a fit and a tantrum. Less than 30 minutes after she’s tucked in, I walk by her room and can smell it wafting out. >.< It drives me crazy.

FastMoneyRinz77

Squat in front of him and place a big log while keeping eye contact. Then have him clean it up. Do this for a week, and a brother should be fully shitter‑trained.
Jokes aside, my son was fully potty trained at 2.5 years. Pooping took the longest; consistency, rewards, and positivity make the difference. Don’t shame him for pooping in his pants. Don’t make the reward too big either.

Chilli

My 4‑year‑old does the same, but he puts the turd in the toilet by hand. His sister scared him, making him think a Skibidi toilet will appear and get him if he sits.

devinpledged

Hey mate. My daughter (4) was like this too never liked the toilet for either wee or poo. She had her own “special” potty. Bribery worked for us. Yeah, it’s not i deal, but it works. Now she’s actually going to the toilet on her own. When she takes a while, I ask if she’s okay and she always says, “I’m doing a big stinky poo.” It takes time, man. Keep hanging in there with the bribes and it should start to click. My daughter’s only in a pull‑up at night now because she doesn’t always wake up when she needs the toilet, but she’s done an amazing job. It just takes time. Best of luck, king you’ve got this!

NiteUrbanBob

When my son was 3, I told him he couldn't turn 4 until he stopped pooping in his underwear. He did it the day before his fourth birthday.

randommatthew93

DUDE MY 3 YEAR OLD IS DOING THIS TO ME

BriunZach14

Dude, my kid does the same thing! I’ve even tried a lollipop bribe with him still unsuccessful.

MustBushChris

My wife and I put together a prize basket with those 25¢/50¢ toy machines from the front of Walmart. It was about $5 worth of toys, but by the time he got through the basket he needed to go to the bathroom.

MonSlingBritOzzy

That was my guess too. I remember telling my daughter that, as a little boy, I felt a deep embarrassment whenever I used the bathroom at a friend's house, and I would skip flushing. I convinced myself i was just a nasty, shameful smell. It wasn't until I became an adult that the simple truth finally struck me: everything that eats, poops. People, animals, insects… everything that eats, poops. If it doesn’t, it dies. Poop, wipe well, and flush. Everyone does it!

EchoStarVee

My son was the same at that age, so we put him in pull‑ups. We had no clue how it would go when kindergarten started, but after his first day everything just clicked. We didn’t change a thing just praised him every time he used the toilet. So there’s hope.