How do I talk to my 6-year-old about unexpected erections?

shmirant

I’m reaching out for advice on how to handle this situation. We were in the car returning from a therapy appointment with my 6‑year‑old, soon to be 7, when he told me he was in pain and it hurt. I wasn’t sure what “it” referred to, so I asked some follow‑up questions. He said “it” was his wiener. After a few more questions I realized he felt it was stiff. He didn’t need to use the bathroom, and I don’t think he was playing with it because he wa busy with his Lego Pokémon. I suggested he adjust it to see if that would ease the discomfort, and he said that helped. I’m not sure how to steer the conversation or what exactly to explain to him. I feel he’s still quite young for this. It seems odd to think he’s too young; my own parents never really talked to me about these things, so it feels like murky water for me.

Zeropine

Keep the line of communication open with him, and he’ll start feeling comfy enough to bring up the tough stuff. Hearing him mention “it” is already a big hurdle, so if he’s even willing to talk, you’re doing something right.

My son’s 13 now. When he was 12 he started taking these marathon showers 20 or 30 minutes. I’d ask, “What’s taking so long?” even though I kinda knew the answer. He just shut down and didn’t want to chat about it.

One day I accidentally walked in on him in the bathroom and caught him in the act. I didn’t plan on catching him, but that moment opened the door for a conversation.

I told him his body’s changing, gave him the sex talk, and explained jerkin’ it as his first real run in with the devil. I said the devil tries to twist our sexual urges into bad choices. I didn’t shame him; I just bring it up now and then, reminding him about the devil thing.

I struggle with telling him not to do it, but what I really want is for him to know dad’s got his back and can answer whatever he asks .

Good luck, man. Just asking questions already shows you’re a great dad!

TerryTheTank

If it’s a recurring problem yeah, take him to the pediatrician. He might be developing a hernia in that spot. That’s actually what happened to my son when he was a toddler.

MaxStormGuide

Tell him it’s full of urine when it’s hard. He just needs to pee. Unless he says it hurts and it’s not hard, it might be a hernia or another issue that needs medical attention.

DrunkNotrab

Just keep it real. No need for a full‑blown sex lecture just chat with him like a fellow dude.

malbentrave

Explain that it is normal. Also, let him know what you would do in the same situation.

If he got wood while sitting in his car seat, it is likely an uncomfortable position. Explain how to readjust.

xylor7

What really gets me is when he says it hurts. I'd give your pediatrician a call for some advice.

BunqJamsCo0k3r

I understand that it’s normal some people go through it sooner than others. I try to tell him, in plain language, that this happens to me too and that everything will be fine. I just make sure not to make things awkward, because I want him to feel comfortable reaching out again in the future. I present it as if it’s no big deal.

CampVersace

My son experienced the same thing. I told him it happens to all boys. (Edit: the next part wasn’t said to him 🙂 It’s not sexual; it’s a normal bodily reaction, so I distract him, make him laugh, and it usually stops. If you talk about it too much, it lasts longer. Just reassure him it’s normal, then change the topic to get his mind off it. It will stop.

blackninja

My 5 year old says my weiner is crazy!. Just tell him it's normal. It will go down if you don't mess with it. Don't pull it out to show us. At least that's what I tell my son lol what are your thoughts on this?

madlab5qwerty

Babies can experience stiffies.
This is not sexual behavior at that age.
Our midwife said it is normal, which surprised me.

tarcoalfin

Yeah a few things here

As others have suggested, it appears that!what he is physically experiencing may be quite normal, and I can’t help but wonder if he might begin to experiment with it as a way of exploring his body.
Over time, perhaps he’ll feel a growing curiosity to explore it maybe by humping pillows or similar behaviors and this, too, could be seen as a normal part of him trying to understand his own body.
It may be helpful to remember that it’s important not to frame this as sexual for him; assuming there’s no situation resembling sexual assault, it seems to be more about him getting to know his body and gauging his own feelings. So, when you speak with him, perhaps consider it in terms of human biology he senses something in his body and is attempting to make sense of it.

greycreeper72

Just normal stuff, DadBro. 😎

I’ve got 2 kids one autistic who won’t leave it alone 🤦‍♂️, and the other does.

One kid asked why it gets hard. I told him it’s part of being a boy and it’s easier to wait till it eases up before peeing. 🚽