I’m gonna say this bc it’s men’s mental health month: if you’re in a situation where someone’s accusing the other of crossing boundaries, gaslighting, narcissism, etc., the only way to actually sort it out is with a professional third party.
NPD/BPD are often comorbid and serious stuff. If you’ve ever had serious concerns about these, you need a licensed clinical psychologist to help sort it out.
My last marriage ended because my wife took her own life after she refused to seek professional psychiatric help. I kept leading the horse to water, we tried both couples and individual therapy. That’s when I realized I’d done all I could and the therapist recommended she get psychiatric help for either untreated bipolar and comorbid BPD/NPD. Instead she refused, got violent with me, and instead of me being hauled away in handcuffs I just left and filed for separation. She committed suicide after alienating not just me but her whole family before the first hearing.
Don’t mess around with this stuff. Even if you don’t think you’re the one with the issue, I recommend therapy bc long‑term involvement with someone with NPD will often lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms in yourself.
