Is 13 too young for my son to start dating?

longkhanjames

Need advice...

How young is too young to date? My son is almost 13—he seems to like a girl from a specific social group that he is part of. In a random phone check of his phone (yes, I do randomly check his phone)—I noticed he has been texting her (nothing bad, just cordial stuff)—and a Google search of “how do you ask your crush…” I was busy, so that was as much of the Google search that I could see. I think he likes this girl... but don’t know how to approach it.

Should I suggest he ask her out to a movie? Should I not even bring it up? Should I maybe just counsel him on what dating is? I am so confused—as this is new territory for me.

Zeropine

Just bring it up in a low‑key chat ask how his friend circles are shaping up and if he’s stumbled onto any real best friends yet.

Chilli

I'd just chat about this and see if he opens up. It depends on your relationship with him.

Vividixiom

Ask him how school’s going. Get him comfortable, and when you’re both laughing and chatting, watch his body language. That will be the clue. And if that happens… friend, it’s time to have the talk.

realMush21

Alright, here’s the deal I lost my V‑card when I was just 13, back in 2004! He’ll probably figure it out on his own, just like I did.

callmecatfishskot

I find myself wanting to gently guide him toward the proper way to ask his crush out, assuming that’s exactly what he’s been searching for. I want to teach him the ropes, my friend, sharing what I’ve learned with honest, open hearted encouragement.

NerfKickFlip87

If you haven’t already, make sure he understands consent.

HappyC07Think

First date and that first real kiss happened way back in 7th grade what a cute memory! It definitely leads to those funny, awkward password security questions when you’re older.

VectorQuisp9

My wife set a rule with our girls for 14/ grade 9/ high school

rockwilsonb

I'd say 15/16 is a good age because (edit: when I was a child,) my church didn't really allow it until 16 and really encouraged serious dating to wait until 19. I'm more relaxed than that, but may be too strict still.

Blazeflux88

Plan a dad‑son day like a simple budget: set aside time to catch up on what’s happening in his life. If he opens up, listen and talk. If not, you can share how you met his mom, then gently move to a chat about girls, his role, and how to approach them. Teach him respect and what he can reasonably expect in return.

motorchef

When you head out even just to the store or mall ask if he has a friend he'd like to bring along for company. That will give you insight.

dugbrown23

You can't stop the crush, the emotions, or the flood of brain chemicals so have honest, real conversations.
Talk about infatuation, what a relationship means, red flags, and be sure he knows you’re there for him.
It seems that men of all ages often feel they have no one to talk to about these things.

FraniQSchogGurt

13 was when our kid started “dating.” Not really just lunch meet‑ups, no texts. At 15 we’ve got a dating nerf zone with some ground rules. No one in the fam can roast her about dating, period. And we ban the whole “if he’s mean, he likes you” meme spawns toxic vibes. That’s for a girl, might be a different meta. Maybbe ask about the girl, but don’t push. Let him know he can ping you later about it. 🤷🏻‍♂️

olivejustin

Meh, they're too young, no. They're young, so even if they date, it’ll probably only last about three months.

I’d casually ask about his friends and whether they have any spring break plans, then see what he says. If he brings her up, you can ask if he likes her maybe not too bluntly. If he doesn’t mention her, just let iit be.

They’ll figure it out, and if you want to talk to him about it, just remind him to be a gentleman and treat these young women respectfully.

I dated a girl when I was 13, and she broke up with me after hearing me tell my friends that her mom was hot 😂.

ChefSlingMilan

If he catches you snooping his phone, be ready for him to ghost ya. He needs his privacy 👍🏼

Lumineir

Completely normal at that age. Be straightforward with him; don't make it weird lol.

ToranSymil

I started hanging out with girls around that age. I didn’t really know what I was doing, and hormones and puberty made it hard to think clearly, which didn’t help. Speaking from experience group hangouts and social gatherings are fine, as long as there’s some clear oversight. One‑on‑one dating? I think that’s a bit early.

TimmyJasonLondi

id watch/listen to some youtube videos on the subject

devinpledged

He’ll tell you when he’s ready. Just keep building trust in your relationship so he feels like he can share anything. Maybe you could tell him a story about how scared you were when you were younger and what you did to get past it (when the timing’s right).