How do I cope with my ex introducing a new partner to my kids?

DawgyKoroshWolf

I’m just struggling with the thought of another man being around my kid.

I know nothing about that guy, and my ex says they’ve only been talking for a month. I’m not sure,how to feel.

I know I’m not going to lose the dad title yet—I’m still present with the boys. Still, I feel INVASIVE, like a new fella has entered my space.

Any advice on how to just stop feeling like this?

michaelmonster

It's completely natural, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. People will try to convince you to suppress your instincts and become a beta male. Obviously, it’s too early to bring this guy around your children, but we really need to meet him, get to know him, and make sure he knows you.

Chilli

It's normal. Ask to meet him. Maybe you'll become friends, and he could be a trusted person to care for them when you're not there.

NutFlapLink1

Unless he gives you a reason don’t sweat it. Read your kids; if things become an issue, you’ll know.

Darkskies94

I've been dealing with a new stepdad for four years now. I just hope my ex made the right choice and pray the stepdad doesn't cross any lines, or I'll feel stuck for life.

KaiserQuest

Go talk to him. I’ve been divorced 9 years and she’s dated 4 guys. Anytime there’s a dude around the kids dating my ex, I chat with him, make sure he knows who I am, that I’m in the picture, and size up his vibe. No need for a fight or drama just say hi when you get a chance and lead the convo. Trust me, 90% it’ll turn out better than you think. I haven’t met any guy with bad intentions or who treated my kids poorly.

VapChazeNort

Completely normal feeling. Communication between your ex and her new bf is key.

RuncadeCanuckSameoo

You are going to feel how you feel that is natural and ok.

martinbooker

Haha, I was so relieved when someone else stepped in now they can handle her antics.

The boys know you’re their dad. Hang in there, brother.

SauceRedSourFly

A month is awful quick to bringing the kids around him

parallelgamerhunter

Try not to let your ego run your emotions

BrewtifulFrost

That's totally normal! My ex and I split, and I started dating first while sharing 50% custody still felt odd when she brought another guy around.

Ultimately, unless you bail on your kids, you're going to be their dad. Rmeember that don’t put them in the middle or make them part of your concerns. That only makes the dynamic with your boys awkward, and they won’t feel comfortable.

Be a great dad, focus on your boys, and you’ll be just fine.

MeatLucid829

I struggle with the same. My therapist wants to work with me on this tomorrow. Truth be told we can’t be replaced as long as we’re in our kids lives. It’s more of an ego thing for us. Mind you I refuse to meet the motherfucker

PoppaHoffPack

Consider asking your ex if you can meet before he sees the kids; he might be a really nice guy. My ex‑wife’s ex didn’t like me until he finally sat down with me because his girlfriend urged him. Now we’re good friends.

StarlitOdyssey

I don’t mean to make you more worried, but I find myself gently wondering about how the man my ex ended up with was touching my youngest and recording it, and how she was arrested as well.

BadgerGunner

It's normal to worry about your child's safety and upbringing. What isn’t normal is if the issue you have with the man simply boils down to jealousy perhaps you’re worried another man might be the one she needs, or that he could be a better dad. That’s something a lot of men seem to struggle with. Regardless, do your research on the man. Ask around, pull a background report. Then let it go and be happy that it’s one man and not many.

rainbowwhale

You will not lose your father's position; you are and will always be a father figure, brother. As long as he is a good person, there is no problem.

BattlePapaMDNT

My ex assures me she won’t bring anyone around the kids until things get serious. Still, my biggest fear is a surprise visitor while the kids are with her. I’ve learned she’s been talking to and dating guys. I’m not worried about losing Dad status. I’m concerned about what kind of guy might show up when I’m not there.