How do I cope if my girlfriend wants an abortion after we told everyone?

InvestDaba

Yo, my gf’s pregnant right now. She already has a 2‑year‑old kid with another dude. This one’s mine, about 9 weeks in, and she’s been super depressed for the past month. Now she’s saying she wants an abortion. I’m totally lost, especially since both my family and her family have already announced it—so everyone knows.

LexKhan

Support her maybe get her to a clinic through Catholic Charities or Planned Parenthood. Those places are there for situations like this to help women in crisis.

KevTheRev

In my heart I see two paths, and both feel heavy: 1. Choose abortion and carry the weight of regret and pain for the rest of your life, or 2. Bring the baby into the world and pour all your time and resources into nurturing a child, making sure they feel loved and can truly thrive. I chose to support #2, and it remains the most beautiful decision I’ve ever made. No matter what, I pray you feel supported throughout your journey.

techsavvy42

Honestly, just get it done.
You don’t want her dumping her regrets onto the child for the rest of his or her life.

I know someone who had a kid they didn’t want and ended up abandoning her. The kid has all kinds of issues and she’s only five.

You really don’t want that stress.
Just do it and leave.

silverwingsun

Simple math tells me I should be encouraging her to go for it, and I know I need to gtfo of that situation.

paintgameon

I would fight as hard as I could to keep her from killing your child.

ZooEthos1

If that’s what you end up doing, just say you lost it and don’t want to talk about it. Just saying.

JungleNuevex19

Perhaps you could speak with a therapist. If you’re religious, you might reach out to your leader. You could also contact Planned Parenthood or another organization that supports women.

golfthymian7

Oh he'll no, I would be pissed.

dugbrown23

I know this is a hard decision, but you’ve been stuck for 18 years with the worst outcome if she doesn’t want it. This will become emotional and political please choose your fight wisely.

elymchloefun

I’m sorry, but you need to find out if it’s really yours. If it is, try to understand why she’s feeling depressed about it and help her as best you can. If it isn’t, run for the hills and count your blessings.

happycatbilbo

She’s either confused bc it’s yours or his… or she still has feelings for the dude.

SparkzByte

Express your feelings respectfully. Its her choice in the end.

munchsteel

No way. Don't let her dodge the fallout. Not only will u both regret it, but she'll keep trying to dodge consequences more & more.

TheMonkeyRuto

I’m not a doctor, but from what I’ve seen with my fam and my spouse, depression’s pretty common during pregnancy. Having a toddler to look after is also super hard, even harder when you’re pregnant. I’m sure there are a lot of mixed emotions when you found out she was pregnant. I felt a lot of things when I found out my girl was pregnant some inadequacy, joy, fear, you name it. Now that my daughter’s here, she’s one of the best things ever, even though she wasn’t planned. 😂 I’ll tell ya, kids are a handful and there are days that are rough, but I felt joy like never before. I’ve grown as a man in ways I couldn’t have otherwise. There are charity clinics that can help with healthcare during pregnancy. We went to one early for some ultrasounds and other help. If she’s struggling with depression, there are resources to help too if she’s willing to get help. Support is a huge part of what a woman needs during pregnancy, especially if she’s got a kid to care for. Take time to talk with her, hold her (if she’s into physical touch), and try to find ways to make her comfy massages (no expectations beyond the massage), food, and other things she enjoys. Your child is a gift and your life will change, but it’s all worth it. You’ll miss out on this wonderful little person and life if you choose abortion. Good luck, my friend! I promise there are so many good things to come! 🙌

badgerhavoc93

Help her find a prenatal naturopathy specialist right away, and arrange a date for both of you to meet with a marriage counselor as soon as possible. If she's willing. If she decides to see a therapist on her own, that would be wonderful too.

jayfizzberry

You know what’s right in your heart brother.

CabbageBerg

Man, this one's tough! Sure, folks will say “let her, it’s her decision,” but you’ve gotta be absolutely sure those hormones aren’t driving her into a rash move she’ll regret later. I’d be all about convincing her to wait until the absolute latest practicable point and get her to see someone first.