How can I help my shy 3yo daughter enjoy preschool?

Luminarion

Hello, I have a son and a daughter who are both quite shy and tend to be reserved, especially in situations like sliding down. My daughter, who is three, is hesitant about preschool. The photos from the parent app often show her looking sad and standing alone. Teachers say she’s doing well and has friends, but I can’t help feeling concerned. She struggles with language, and when I ask if she’s having fun, she says yes. However, when I inquire about friends, she doesn’t respond. I’m unsure if it’s due to her difficulty expressing herself or something else. Am I alone in feeling this way?

SilkPistil

She doesn't see things the same way I do. I was the same way when I was her age. All I can do is encourage her to come out and be around people, and try to stay calm and not overthink it, maybe.

VelcroViking

It's also easy to forget that the mindset of everyone doing everything in a group and everyone being included might not suit everyone.

I had the exact same thoughts as you, wondering how it would go for my kids since they weren't in the center of events and I'm an outgoing introvert myself who didn't thrive in the spotlight.

But... as they get older, it often becomes a bit easier to find smaller groups to play in, more smaller activities where they can find what suits their personalities better rather than one big outing that's supposed to suit everyone. I actually think it's been easier since they started school, though the opposite can happen and challenges can arise instead, but I guess we've been lucky. What I'm trying to say, at least, is that everyone has their own journey and doesn't fit into the same mold.

As someone mentioned, I also believe there are small steps parents can take to build their confidence and cheer them on.

Skywardz88

You're definitely not alone in your concern. My daughter is very social and outgoing, but she's also observant and very sensitive. That can sometimes be a tough combination because kids can be pretty mean at times.

Today, my girl was greeted by friends who came over to hug her, but then she walked away and started playing alone. That being said, I think your observations and what the preschool is saying can both be true at the same time. Maybe she's not unhappy she's just choosing to be by herself.

silencesleeper

I had/have the same issue with my little one. I think it's because I almost have separation anxiety myself when I leave him, and it rubs off. But then, on other days when I pick him up, he's running around and having a blast. It probably varies from day to day and depends on how we handle drop offs and pick ups. Just a thought.

DarkSideLASSO

Check with another parent who drops off after you or picks up before you to see if they can stay a couple of minutes and observe your daughter. It can be comforting to get some feedback from someone other than the educators.