How do you cope when your ex moves on financially while you’re still

crowbaggus · 2025-10-26T02:30:08+00:00

My ex just said she's buying a house, while I'm **FINANCIALLY RUINED** after the divorce. I can’t even picture that possibility. I’m not sad, not angry—just… **lost**. How do y’all handle that aspect?

Darkstorming

Focus, friend. Put your attention on your job, your workouts, learning a new skill, and reading. Direct your energy toward something that improves you whether it brings money right away or not, it still makes you better in any way.

TubaMadMonkey42

Focus on yourself and double down. Work hard to improve your situation and strive to rise above it.

I struggle every day with a similar issue. I bought a house even though I pay child support. I work hard while they barely worry,about bills, and each month I must decide what won’t be paid.

The peace and solitude it brings our kids when they are here is worth the struggle now. In time things will level out; we just have to push through the present to enjoy easier times later.

I gave up a lot and worked hard to get here. I was where you are not long ago, had to reevaluate, barely scrape by, cut many lifestyle minimums, and live below my means for a while.

Hard times create strong men. Just keep on keeping on.

flaskdiver

Divorce is a financial kick in the mouth for all of us… Maybe we can crowdsource some solutions to help you get back on track.

readingwizard

Go back to court ask for alimony to be reassessed

SpeedRamonJebb

Mortgage lender here. Don’t buy a house just to spite her prove you can do it, to. Buy a house when you’re ready, and only if the numbers actually support it, especially if you plan to rent it out after you move or buy a new place.

The worst thing you can do? Follow in her footsteps, try to one‑up her, and end up with a bad financial decision. Choose a move that makes sense both numerically and for your situation.

mangofarnlacher

Success is the best revenge congratulate her and that’s that. In a few years you’ll be buying your own house; your time will come.

hammericy

I wouldn’t worry about it materials fade in a kid’s mind in a heartbeat, maybe a week at most. My kid actually told me they liked an apartment better than the house I bought, and I’m totally on board! It’s just more fun, cozier, and simpler.

So long as the “dumps” are more fun than the fancy house, that’s all that matters.

techsavvy42

I get that feeling. After my divorce was settled, my ex‑wife decided she was finally going to pu t in a pool, hot tub, and outdoor kitchen. We’d talked about that for years. I even created the whole design myself and had it customized so a company could build it to the specs I wanted. Then, within a year or a year and a half after the divorce, the pool was installed. My kids asked why we never got a pool while their mother and I were married. I explained that I’d wanted one for at least the past five or six years, that we had the money and got different estimates, but their mother never wanted to follow through.

FastMoneyRinz77

Save up and get your own place. I was dragged through financial mud, yet I zeroed in on my goals and wrote them down. After just over ten years, I bought a house. My ex is broke, living with her mom, and no longer receives child support.

hrm12mkm12

Remember the only competition that matters is you v you.
Be better today, than you were yesterday.

Comparison is the thief of joy.
The goal is growth.
Progress, not perfection.

There are people from my past I'd rather live in a mud hut, than with them.
Eyes on your own paper my man.

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