Should I split inheritance money with family or keep it for my wife and kids?

StrykeJack · 2026-02-04T04:00:09+00:00

Ok guys… I’m going to lay it all out, even though it’s a long story, and I’ll try to keep it simple. I’m stuck in a moral dilemma and I can’t seem to decide what’s right. Grandfather passed away and left the family some money. It’s not a lot, but it does help in many ways. My family thinks it’s more than it actually is. Friends of my grandfather said he wanted me to have it; he just wasn’t healthy enough to get the papers done. My brother was sick, my father was locked up, so I had to jump through a lot of hoops to get this money sent to me. There was no will, no trust, no paper trail of any kind. I spent a lot of time calling and researching to do it the right way. My family is asking for their share, and I think that’s the right thing to do. My dilemma is that my father was locked up for drugs, missing probation appointments, etc., and my brother has fallen sick again and needs help. But my own family here—my wife and kids—could really use this money. It’s not enough to split in several ways and make everyone happy. I’ve been on the phone with people and handling all this work by myself for at least two months, trying to get everything settled. Between the bank, the hospital, the mortuary, the cemetery, etc., I’ve been the only one handling it all. The family keeps calling me, asking how much, when, what I’m getting—everything. I’m just not sure which direction I need to go, what I need to do now that I’ve finally got it all taken care of and the money is coming in. What are y’all’s thoughts? Opinions?

CravenMokiWolf

You said there was no will.
You don’t even know that your grandfather wanted you to have the money if it were not for second hand accounts from friends.
Everyone could use money.
Not just your family.
And I would think that if anything your father, regardless of his behaviour is entitled to something of an inheritance from his father.
Doing what’s right isn’t fun.
And you haven’t gone above and beyond. Even when there is a will, people often spend months jumping through hoops with lawyers and banks.
Split the money and be grateful you got something at all.

What’s the mst compassionate way to handle an estate when the wishes aren’t clearly documented?

Bodmix

The family sounds crazy… you sound crazier for wanting to keep it for yourself… if it ain’t that much, just give up your part and let the others have it, lol. This all sounds insane to me. I think you should use the money to pay for funeral expenses and whatever’s left split it. Even if it’s ten dollars, let them do what they want with their share. If you keep it, you’re no better than the guy at the coocoos nest. I hate that money does this to.families.

brothdwking

If he wanted you to have it and no one helped, then I’d keep it and do what you think is RIGHT.

JungleNuevex19

My wife went through a similar situation. Her dad passed away last fall. He didn’t leave much, but a few insurance policies have paid out since then. It’s not a lot, but it could help. Her brother is really struggling with drugs. We’ve dealt with that cycle for years, and although he stays in the area, he’s not around any family now. In our case, there’s absolutely no way he’ll get any of this money. You could justify it, but unless a person is clearly working on themselves, they’ll probably spend it on drugs. I’m not being cynical I’ve just been around a lot of drugs in my life. I had to stop drinking myself. I really hope that’s what your dad is doing.

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