If you have FULL CUSTODY, you have NO LEGAL OBLIGATION to listen to her request.
For some background, my oldest is not mine biologically a 9‑year‑old girl and her biological dad still shares 50/50 custody with my wife. He “reached out” a few times, but hasn’t made any real attempt to see her since she was four months old. I’ve been her dad since shhe was three.
That being said, there are only two options I’d consider, based on my experience.
First, to test the waters (no pun intended), you can accept her request. I’d personally go along to make sure there’s absolutely no funny business. You don’t want her to run off with your child. If she’s irresponsible, you don’t want anything bad to happen especially with a child that young taking swimming lessons. I would not let them go alone.
Second, you can deny her request and explain why. I wouldn’t ignore her. Sure, maybe she’s grown up and wants to make up for lost time and be a mother, but, as I’ve said from my own experience, don’t hold your breath. People don’t prove themselves better overnight.
People who truly want to parent will fight for custody in court, as long and as hard as it takes, to see and raise their child. If she didn’t put in that work, I find it hard to believe she genuinely wants to be a mother now. People can change, but don’t hold your breath.
