How Can I Support My Exhausted Partner with Our Clingy Baby?

LiveLoveEverydy · 2025-05-06T09:45:10+00:00

I’m currently in an extremely tough situation with my family. My son is 9 months old and is going through a phase where he’s screaming a lot, and he’s super clingy to my partner, barely letting me hold him right now. This is leaving my partner completely exhausted when she’s home alone with him all day while I’m at work. Her family also lives 50 miles away, so we can’t really get any support from them. In the middle of all this chaos at home, I just found out that my dad is going to pass away soon, and both he and my mom are unavailable for support right now because she’s staying home to care for him full-time. I suggested driving my son and partner down to her family for a week to get some relief, given how things are at home, but my partner says it’s a terrible idea and that my son will forget me and ruin our relationship for life. Is this a bad idea, and does anyone have any tips on what to do in this situation? Sorry for the long post.

NerfHamster900

There are plenty of families where dads work regularly in other locations everything from dads who commute weekly for office jobs to Norwegian oil workers and military personnel.

Your partner’s worry is likely exaggerated.

When our oldest was seven months old, I found out about my dad’s serious illness, and we also lived far from the rest of our family, including my dad.

Let’s just say the little one got pretty used to car rides…

For what it’s worth, I’m currently on parental leave from a demanding job, and our new little one has quickly become more attached to me and more independent from mom. The only thing predictable about kids this age is that everything changes fast.

Perry

NerfHamster900 Agreed 💯

DSS94

Sounds like a good idea! ✌️
One tip that worked for us during that phase was using my shirts. She’d wear them for 10 15 20 minutes at a time, and then I’d put one on (so I smelled like mom and milk) when I held him after he ate. It helped calm him down for short stretches, giving her a chance to shower, eat, or just have a little alone time.

LaserRainboy27

Make sure you get time to be with your dad toward the end too. These stressful, chaotic times with the family will pass, but your dad's passing will only happen once. Honestly, your partner should take a trip with the baby for that reason alone.

aiguessmaster92

After lurking in this group for 1.5 years, I’m finally posting.

THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
I went through something similar with my own kid. It’s shit tough not feeling like you’re doing enough, but there’s not much to do except keep going and handle the practical stuff like cleaning and food…

When I was 9 months old, I didn’t have either parent around for a few weeks.

And yet, I’m just normally fucked in the head, functioning in society, working a full time job, managing relationships, debt free, etc.

So take care of your family by taking care of the dad for a week…

GammerGuru88

My daughter and wife spent a month away together when she was about a year old. Before that, she was 100% attached to her mom, but after that month, she switched and became almost 100% attached to her dad ever since. Of course, everyone is different, but that's been our experience.

I don't think it's a bad idea, and it would probably make things easier for you. The child won't forget a parent that easily, right? 😊

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